Generic Mary Sue Story
by Just Passing Through
Summary: Mary Sue part two, Invader Mariyenna. I fully expect to get flamed for this one.
1. Default Chapter

This is a tribute to Mary Sue. Does she sound familiar?  
  
Mary Sue breezed into Dib's class one gusty autumn afternoon, and he felt his heart stop. He'd never seen any girl like this before. She had long, silver hair that seemed to always be moving. Her large eyes were a brilliant purple. She wore some kewl outift I don't really feel like describing, but it probably involved big boots somewhere.   
  
Dib of course felt an immediate attraction to her and she gave him a mysterious smile. Zim on the other hand felt threatened by her even though he never admits to feeling threatened by ANYONE, because Mary Sue is JUST THAT KEWL. Also, she's psychic. Or an alien. I haven't decided yet. It will be revealed at the end of the story in a climax NO ONE COULD EVER SEE COMING 80 MILES AWAY. I'll drop some SUBTLE hints along the way. Anyway she believes Dib right away about Zim being an alien, I mean it's so OBVIOUS and it would be tedious to have her act like everyone else, right?  
  
Mary Sue has a tragic past. Oh, but she can't remember it. Amnesia, you know. She feels guilty over something that wasn't her fault. She astounds the class by standing up to Ms. Bitters and everyone is shocked.   
  
"Who IS this new girl?" The popular kids wonder. "Will she date me?" Even Gaz liked her. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO NOT LOVE MARY SUE. YOU WILL WORSHIP HER.  
  
She and Dib scheme together and Mary Sue sacrifices herself nobly to save Dib from Zim's evil clutches. Stupid, weak Mary Sue berates herself for falling in love with Dib so fast. Angst. Yes. She tricks Zim cleverly somehow, and escapes. No wait, Dib rescues her to create that dynamic damsel-in-distress scene. Yeah, that'll do the trick. "Dib draped Mary Sue's delicate white arm around his shoulders to support her weight and gently helped her out of Zim's lab as the alien cursed them." He needed to do this because she was wounded before, that was part of the whole angst thing. And she made some soft twittering noises Dib found oddly endearing. (HINT, HINT.)  
  
Other stuff happens, more Mary Sue being brave and rebellious and secretive. Then there's some final showdown with Zim, and he retreats for now. Mary Sue's secret is revealed. She's half-Irken. Purple's love child with some destitute exiled princess. But Dib loves her anyway, cause he's not the kind of guy to discriminate. They team up together and will be fighting Zim in some other fic I put out that you'll all love. No. She died, I'm sorry. She died in Dib's arms and he vowed to love her forever.  
  
Then there's my OTHER character, Mariyenna, who teams up with Zim and doesn't care he's an alien. And Dib and Zim both like her, because she's neat too. And the alien vixen-queen Xuyhrfao, (pronounced "___"), who has neat adventures in space and makes you wonder if you wandered into the sci-fi section by mistake. But you'll love her anyway. 


	2. Invader Mariyenna

I wasn't really intending to write more of this stuff, the line at the end of the first chapter was meant to help identify Mary Sue's who act a little bit differently. This one is even less a story than the previous one.  
  
"Invader Mariyenna, you are to be sent to the Planet Earth," Tallest Purple said. I'll spare you Mariyenna's description. "We sent Zim there and you're to keep an eye on him and help him conquer the planet. This isn't a woeful plot oversight even though we sent Zim there to die and we've taken no interest in Earth whatsoever -- We're your Tallests and thus nothing that we say can be stupid, just like omnipotent fanfic writers."  
  
Mariyenna saluted. Independent thought is as discouraged on Irk as it is here. She brought her defective SIR unit along, its name was *IR. *IR was inexplicably impaired but writing about smart or competent robots is apparently passé. The main thing of interest about *IR is its impossible name. The asterisk noise is difficult to pronounce for anyone except a robot, as it sounded something like a cross between a mechanical beep and a belch, so Mariyenna always just called it 'douchebag' which worked as well.   
  
*IR did lots of random cute things that impair Mariyenna, but despite the fact that she, unlike Zim, is supposed to have a brain, it never occurred to her to either fix the damn thing or dispose of it. They flew to Earth, and *IR did the cute robot thing of your choice. Perhaps it sang a variant of the Doom song, in the mistaken impression that plagiarism is somehow funny -- it's not *IR's fault it's unoriginal. Leave the robot alone, you despicable nitpickers!  
  
The ship landed peacefully and Mariyenna located Zim, building her base adjacent to his. And GIR and *IR got along and indulged in some busy activity which took them quite some time, because I hate thinking up random cute things for them to say or do and it's obligatory for them to do these things. They uh, went chasing butterflies and went to a club and danced and got drunk and rented a cheap hotel room for the night. Cute robot stuff.  
  
"The Skool is where I learn most everything about these hy00mans," Zim told his new partner-in-crime. "Perhaps you should as well." Mariyenna then established her own human costume, and you can bet it looked more realistic than Zim's, in fact she looked like she fell right out of an Abercrombie and Fitch department store. So she enrolled in Skool with Zim who introduced her as his cousin. But she was not his cousin. You see whenever Zim looked at Mariyenna he felt a little bit giddy, and if she was his cousin he was pretty sure he wouldn't.  
  
Dib saw right through her. At lunchtime, he confronted her in the hallway, as she struggled with her books. "You're one of them..." he accused her, his eyes glinting crazily because we all know Dib is really insane if not evil (or both) for trying to stop Zim from taking over the planet. "Another one! But I'll stop you all!" Dib probably should have chosen a more well-lit hallway occupied with other people because that was the last anyone saw of him. Mariyenna captured him and took him to her labs, so he could be a witness to the planet's downfall, or maybe because she's some kind of sadist and experimented on him. You'll have to ask her yourself, I'm too nervous to approach her.  
  
Since I'm just about out of cliché's for this particular Mary-Sue genre to rip off and because I'm tired, without Dib in the way Zim and Mariyenna easily take over earth and enslave everyone, and get married and grow really tall, which is possible even though they're both really adults and have reached their full height. We've all come to accept this as a fact, one way or another. 


End file.
